Beacon of Hope
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: A simple day in the park turns into a full-on disaster. It's a mad, mad world...


"What a splendid idea, Yoshi!" said Peach as she emptied the food from her basket. "A picnic is just what we needed after those castle repairs."

"Yoshi!" squealed the green dino happily.

"It was getting pretty stuffy in there anyway…" sniffed Luigi. He took out a sandwich and began to chow down.

"But thanks to the great outdoors, we have nothing but peace!" said Mario as he bit into an apple.

Bowser hobbled by the parkgoers with his son in tow. They were carrying baseball equipment. He saw his rival and his friends and bit his lip. "Oh… fancy meetin' you fellas here…" he muttered nervously.

"Hey, Papa! What's with these slouches hoggin' up the park?" barked Junior. Bowser pushed him aside and hushed him.

Peach crossed her arms. "I hope you aren't planning any funny business today, Bowser."

"Yeah, or else I'll just have to kick-a your tail!" said Mario.

Yoshi saw Bowser's baseball and shot his tongue out. He swallowed the thing whole and blasted an egg out from behind. Then he ate the egg.

Luigi made a very sour face at Bowser and Junior. He pulled out an egg salad sandwich and threw it at Junior's face. It splattered and Junior began to cry.

"Gosh! What is your problem, guys?" exclaimed Bowser as he patted his son on the shell.

"You smell like turtle butts!" screamed Mario. He consumed a Fire Flower and then lit the entire park on fire. Hundreds of individuals evacuated the premises. Some did not make it out though.

"Oh no! Papa! That bad man is trying to hurt us!" cried Junior.

Bowser picked up Junior and ran away as fast as he could. Mario did not care though; he revved up his firebrand and shot an explosive blast that propelled him toward the Koopa King.

"Mario! Why are you being so disruptive?" shouted Bowser, shocked out of his wits.

"I WANT YOU TO BE SLEEPIN' WIT' DA FISHIES!" bellowed Mario as he shot a fiery blast at Bowser's face.

Bowser fell to the ground defeated. "No… Junior, you must run…" he whispered to his son. Junior sped off, but was intercepted by Yoshi. Yoshi swallowed him and turned him into an egg.

"My son…" whimpered Bowser.

"You are a smelly dork!" cried Mario. He picked up Bowser by the tail and spun around like a top. Then he let go and sent big Monsieur Turtley Bits into some Bob-Ombs.

Mario put his hands on his hips and spat on the ground in disgust. Luigi ran past his brother and jumped onto Bowser's exploded remains and ate every single one of them. Then he sprayed cheese whiz into his monstrous gullet and tossed in a cherry for the deluxe combo.

Peach then grabbed the Yoshi egg containing Junior and took it to the castle.

Junior hatched in a dark interrogation room. "Where's my dad?" he said worried.

Mario snapped his fingers and Luigi waltzed into the room. He did a massive thing on the table and then shot a pseudo-super glue from his nostrils. Bowser was now back to normal.

"Why are you doing this, Mario?" Bowser panted. "Cease this idiotic madness!"

Mario slapped Bowser in the face like that one scene where Dedede does it to him in Subspace Emissary.

Then Yoshi walked in with a clipboard and sunglasses. "It appears we must move onto Phase 2," he said charismatically. He could melt the hearts of Birdos everywhere and his abs were no joke either. I mean, you should have seen this stud.

"What is Phase 2?" whimpered Junior.

Mario and Luigi then forced Bowser and his son to watch _Iron Man 3, Thor Dark World, Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Age of Ultron,_ and _Ant Man_. Bowser and Junior would have enjoyed their time, but Mario bought the special edition where Bucky was being very naughty and shooting Captain America.

"Now you are to be stinkin' losers!" roared Mario. He put a taco in front of the two turtle monarchs. "Now smell these tacos!"

Bowser and Junior then had to smell the taco for eleven straight minutes, but they were not allowed to consume any of it.

"This is so evil!" cried Bowser. "Mario! I demand that you end this stupid farce!"

Mario stuck his face in a bucket of lobsters and then revealed his amazing new look to the world. "Now we shall see who is the rightful heir to the throne," said lobster-face Mario.

"You go, bro!" cheered Luigi.

"Dartmouth…" grunted Yoshi edgily as his dyed his spikes black while wearing nothing but a black jacket, black shoes, and a lagging chain to emphasize his solid badditude. He was going to paint his nails black later and where black eyeshadow and change his name to "Buttkill" because of his overwhelming angst.

Peach walked in with a cape. She draped it around Mario and gave him ten diamond rings for each glove fingered. "You are the hero, Mario!" she said with a wink.

"Now I shall rule the universe!" laughed Mario.

"Oh dear! What do we do now?" cried Bowser.

"It's all over now!" wailed Junior.

All of a sudden, the beautiful Waluigi blasted into the room and flaunted his exceptional Wah-ness. "Word up, suckahs…" he wahed.

"Dang haunted licorice!" growled Luigi as he pulled out a mean rifle. "I must protect our king!"

Luigi fired, but Waluigi was so amazing that the bullets disintegrated into nothingness before they even reached him. "Fools! My benevolence is second only to the great Bluster Kong. There's no way you evildoers can defeat me!"

Mario noticed this was a fact. He dropped the rings and then sold his overalls on ebay. "We are not worthy…"

"You dang right, Mario!" smirked Waluigi. He picked up the rings and gave them to Bowser. "Go."

Bowser began to tear up. He grabbed Junior and the two walked off into the sunset, eager to play more baseball in honour of the great man who had freed them.

Waluigi.

Blessed Waluigi.

 **THE END**


End file.
